Nothing You Confess, Makes Me Love You Less~

As time goes by, I realized that sometimes confession bring a big means not only to me but everyone around me. Somehow, it makes me becomes a better person, maybe in both direct and indirect way. But still, the tradition of speak about something at the back keeps going on until today, which actually can turn to be a silence killer in all kinds of relationship.

I was born in a family where my parents will try to sit together with me and tell me what are the things that I have done correctly and what are the things that I shall not repeat and improve in the future. As I grow older, I realized how important this kind of confession was, and indirectly, it makes my relationship with my parents become closer as time goes by.

I remember when I was keep mumbling with my mom due to the workloads that I need to do once I return from the terminal where I performed my industrial training, my mom just smile patiently and said to me that this is the reality if I turn to be a working mother in the future. She said that by hook or by crook, I must get ready to face this type of situation since it is a nature for those woman that not hire any maid to help them to do all the home works.Even sometimes, those who hiring a maid also still need to do this since this is what do we called as responsibility. Dear mom, nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

Once upon a time during my early days in UTP, I always called my father whenever I face any types of difficult situations. Somehow, my daddy always said to me, why don't you ask your friend because I am also not familiar with Perak. I was kind of offended when my daddy told me that, but now I realized that I cannot rely on him all the times since there will be a time and situation where I must do everything on my own and rely on my friends. Dear dad, nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

I remember when my naqibah told me that most of the times, we need to fix with people needs and not try to beg for people in order to fix in with our own needs. Yes, we may beg for it  but only for sometimes. We live to give most of the times, not to receive all the times. Patience and prayer are the strongest weapon that we shall have in order to ensure we can face all the obstacles come into our life. And now I realized, how true this fact is and of course, I wanna say it again that nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

Most of the times, prior to close my eyes, I always try to recap all the things that I have done through out the day. Sometimes, I can feel that how ungrateful I was, since I was kind of not appreciating people around me. People may come and go slowly and suddenly. There is also a case where these people go without saying goodbye and even no hint at all that we will never meet again. 

It is important for us actually to confess on all the things that might burden our head and heart in order to ensure there will be no hard feeling between each other. It's just the way we confess that need to be adjustable according to the type of the person. Different people might need different approaches and I do believe that as time goes by, we shall understand our friends character very well.

Those who had advised me not to think bad about others, avoid to make any assumptions, learn to forgive and forget, try to understand others, accept people mistakes and learn, never hold any grudge, be co-operative, and many more good advises, I am glad that you have be brave enough to advise and confess to me. Believe me that nothing you confess, makes me love you less....

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Sharing: Transitional State~

After quite some times, I finally manage to update something here. Yes, quite some times. I really meant it! As time goes by so fast, I can feel that everything that I do in this semester were like I am competing in a competition. I really need to be quick, fast, hurry, precise, accurate and everything that might relate to fast and quality, you just name it! Are these are the things that my previous seniors faced while completing their final year requirements? Now I understand, the powerful of statement that seems like I used everyday to persuade myself. "Never mind, this year gonna be the last one.. Just be patient. Bear it!"

Somehow, maybe things happened around me seems like giving me kind of surprise. Or maybe, I am in that transitional state or stage, where my mind still keep saying that I am young, but in reality, my heart do also agree that I am getting older. Older? Yep! That's it.

Before I'm doing my industrial training last June, it is seldom for me to hear about marriage, babies, dowries, and anything that falls under this category. But this semester, almost everyone around me do talk about this. Plus, few of my sisters and friends gonna end their "single status" soon, and some of them are walking towards another world that we-do-call-as m.t.b. M.T.B? Yep, mother-to-be. Of course everyone of us will be having that "Aunty" or "Mak Cik" status soon, but I already told those M.T.B to advice their child to call me as "Sister" or "Kakak" only. Honestly, I am not ready yet to be called with that title. Must be everyone that read this entry might think like, what the????????????? Hehe :P

Somehow, this transitional state seems fun, but of course, I can't avoid myself from having kind of sad feeling deep down inside my heart. I still cannot help myself to avoid the sense and feeling that this sister/ these sisters have been taken or will be taken soon by a person that we called as husband. Yes, I know that the ukhuwah and relationship is still there, but I strongly believe, the situation will never be the same.How could you expect the change of title from "Miss" to "Madam" will never change a particular person since the world they are facing is also different? But of course, the spirit, loves and all the memories that been treasured together will always be remain. Forever~

Another thing that I wanna share is about the academic assessment methods. So far, I can tell you that I have only a very few number of quizzes and tests for this semester. But, it still like not giving me enough time to be free and easy. It seems like all the assessment methods used by lecturers are more on relating the theoretical with practice, besides need us to move here and there a lot! I can say that I am quite happy while performing the tasks, but somehow, it makes me tired and fatigue. All of the assessments somehow need you to rely on the other people as well since only few assessment are being done  on individual basis. The rest? All are in group! I am not saying that I am dealing with wrong persons, but the point that I wanna stress out here is to keep the good relation amongst your teammates and comrades are not an easy tasks. Considering others availability, give and take, trying to accept them as who they are, understanding their nature of working, knows how to handle their weaknesses and utilize their strength are some of the things that I need to learn and sometimes, I can say that it makes myself better in improving my interpersonal skills. But of course, the cloud is not always blue (this is totally a direct translation.Hehe :D). After all, patience is the utmost value that I need to hold in order to make me feel less stress and to ensure the possibility for others to get hurt are also less.

I think, this is enough for this time. It may takes me another few weeks to update since the works that I need to complete are queuing like fishes in the UTP's lake waiting for some breads. May Allah bless and eases all the journey ahead... InshaAllah..

Just want to share one quote that I keep in holding in order to make me feel determine to complete all the things,

"Dan kerana TuhanMu, bersabarlah" [74:7]

 ~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Short Notes: Pergi Tak Kembali~

Sudah seperti agak lama rasanya jari-jemari saya tidak menaip sesuatu untuk blog ini. Kesibukan dengan pelbagai urusan adakalanya menyebabkan saya hilang minat atau rasa untuk mencoretkan sesuatu di laman sesawang ini. Sedar tak sedar, sudah minggu ketujuh pengajian semester ini hampir berakhir.. Dan melihat kepada takwim akademik, saya sedikit cemas. Dengan bebanan dan tuntutan akademik dan hal-hal lain yang kian berat dan bertambah, adakalanya saya turut bimbang andai masa yang ada tidak terisi dengan coretan malaikat pada sebelah kanan. 

Semalam saya dikejutkan dengan pemergian seorang sahabat. Biarpun sekadar mengenali nama dan rupa, berita kematian acapkali membuatkan tubuh saya jadi menggeletar. Betapa, saat kita kembali itu tidak pernah dipercepatkan atau dilambatkan, waima hanya sesaat.. Tidak kira usia dan sejauh mana persiapan kita menghadapi panggilan pulang itu, Izrail tetap takkan pernah leka dan terus menepati masa untuk menjalankan tugasnya... Hidup akan terus berjalan, cuma berbeza fasa.. Dan setiap fasa itu, kita sudah dibekalkan dengan persediaan dari Pencipta, dan terpulang kepada kita bagaimana hendak memanfaatkan bekalan tersebut...

Allah sudah menjelaskan dalam Surah Al-Munafiqun ayat ke 11, betapa sesungguhnya masa untuk kita kembali itu sudah ditetapkan waktunya. Dan sebagai hamba yang tidak pernah tahu akan saat tibanya jemputan itu tiba kepada kita, persediaan itu sewajarnya sangat penting. Kerana Dia turut mengingatkan kita dalam ayat yang sama, bahawa Dia Maha Teliti dalam setiap yang kita kerjakan. Lalu, bagaimana? Mampukah kita untuk menjawab segala persoalanNya di Mahsyar nanti dengan alasan saya belum bersedia, saat Kamu menjemput saya?

"Dan Allah sekali-kali tidak akan menangguhkan (kematian) seseorang apabila datang waktu kematiannya. Dan Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kamu kerjakan."

[63:11]

Pemergian sahabat tersebut akibat kemalangan jalan raya sedikit sebanyak membuatkan saya kembali berfikir untuk bermuhasabah. Perlunya untuk kita menghargai setiap insan di sekeliling kita, sebelum saat diri ini ataupun mereka turut pergi yang takkan kembali..

.

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Short Notes: Persona & Doa~

"People's public personas can be very different behind the closed doors.." 

Agak-agaknya, kenapa ya?

Yang pasti, kerana hanya Allah yang tahu. Siapa kita.. Siapa kawan kita.. Siapa semua orang yang sebenarnya..

"Dan Allah mengetahui apa yang kamu rahasiakan dan apa yang kamu lahirkan."

[16:19]

Dan melalui pengalaman, saya pasti semua orang tahu siapa rakan mereka setelah benar-benar mendekati. Pasti ada beza kan? Atau mungkin ada juga tetap sama wherever he or she is..  

Oh, habis tentang quote yang ini..

Rasa sangat excited nak share something from buku Aisyah Ummul Mukminin.. Sangat sweet =D

Tarmiza, Baihaqi dan Mundziri ada merekodkan yang Aisyah pernah mendengar suaminya berdoa begini, "Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku hidup sebagai seorang yang miskin. Cabutlah nyawaku dalam keadaan miskin. Kumpulkanlah aku pada hari kiamat bersama golongan yang miskin."

Mendengar doa ini, Aisyah pun bertanya to her beloved husband, "Why are you praying for things like that?"

Maka, Rasulullah saw pun menjawab, "Orang miskin masuk syurga 40 tahun lebih awal dari orang kaya. Wahai Aisyah, do not refuse to help those poor people even though you just have half of the dates to give to them.. Love those poor people, and get close to them because Allah will makes you close to Him in the hereafter.."

Menarik bukan?

Hurm...

Agak-agak, nak tak berdoa dimurahkan rezeki dan diberikan kehidupan yang senang-lenang selepas ni? 

@_@

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Sharing: The Life~

It has been few days only. But I don't know why, I feel like it seems to be like years... I miss his voice... Out of sudden, while performing my Isyak prayer just now, my tears burst out. I feel like I have not heard the voice for a long time...

After I finished my prayer, I dialed the numbers. I tried very hard to convince myself to not show up the "crying voice" while calling him. But, it is out of my control when he picked up the phone and said,

"Hi my baby, how are you?"

"I'm fine daddy. How are you then?"

When I heard his voice answering my call cheerfully, I began to smile. And the conversation goes well with many cheerful and exciting stories. Alhamdulillah. =) Allah had eases the way. If my father answered my call with his usual voice, I believe, I'll cry out more loudly.

Somehow, I do believe the reasons of having my hands full is not strong enough. Having this humdrum life in UTP with academic matters and other personal things are not a valid reason to just forget a while about my flesh and blood. And I thanks Allah for giving me the lose heart feeling which had took me back to my parents even though I  seems like to have a head like a sieve about them for about two-three days only.

Life So Far

The fifth week of our academic calendar is just about to leave. Seems like times had gone so fast but yet, the progress of things need to completed is not that fast and furious. Sometimes, I can feel that I am to be up to my neck in something for nothing!

However, I do believe the strength will always come through prayers. But when I looked back into Chapter 10 verse 12 of our Holy Quran, seems like I have been pointed out due to my own negligence. Astaghfirullah....

"And when affliction touches a man, he calls on Us, whether lying on his side or sitting or standing; but, when We remove his affliction from him, he passes on as though he had never called on Us on account of an affliction that touched him. Thus is what they do, made fair-seeming to the extravagant."

[10:12]

I still have more weeks to go. And I do believe, with this limited times, I must try to fall on my own feet in order to ensure everything goes well. And I would like to thanks one of my comrades for giving me a song entitled Jangan Menyerah by D' Masiv which helps me to have some motivation and inspiration while doing my tasks. May Allah ease and bless all the way, InshaAllah.. =)

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Kita pasti pernah
Dapatkan cobaan yang berat
Seakan hidup ini
Tak ada artinya lagi

Syukuri apa yang ada
Hidup adalah anugerah
Tetap jalani hidup ini
Melakukan yang terbaik

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Tuhan pasti kan menunjukkan
Kebesaran dan kuasanya
Bagi hambaNya yang sabar
Dan tak kenal Putus asa

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Sharing: The Rise~

Four weeks had passed and today, the fifth week just started. Questioning myself on what are the things that I've done, absolutely I need to istighfar and keep on renewing my niat. La hau la wala qu wata illa billah... Somehow, I did strayed from the right path without realize it during the moment.

Our Sisters and Brothers

Looking at what currently happen with our sisters and brothers in middle east, somehow I am grateful for being a Malaysian. Living in a harmony country even sometimes there are little bit "unexpected" situations happened, I believe most of our youngsters today never think of any methods in order to maintain the peaceful and tranquility of our country. Most of them keep on making themselves busy with such nonsense matters such as illegal racing, singing competition, partying, miss pageant competition and many other else which somehow did not brings any good impacts towards bringing up our country to what we called as develop country. 

I am quite impressed when I know the facts that most of the protesters in Egypt that lead to Hosni Mubarak stepped down as a president are those amongst my age. The spirit and courage that they have in order to change their leader is somehow very amazing since they already think about their future in young age where the other youngsters in the other countries still turn a blind eye into this kind of matter. Those young Egyptians are willing to fight with their tooth and nail in order to ensure there is no more way for Hosni Mubarak to continue leading the country on whatever reasons.

Domino Theory

Not many days after Hosni Mubarak stepped down as president of Egypt and been greeted with a huge outburst of joy by thousands in Cairo's Tahrir Square, more and more countries nearby seem to face almost the same situation. 

From e-mail that I received yesterday, the Moroccans are expected to protest nationwide to demand King Mohammed to give more independence to the government and judiciary. As for Libya, 200 dead and 800 wounded as military use automatic weapons to disperse anti-dictator Gaddafi protests and in lieu to this, 50 Libyan Muslim religious leaders have issued an appeal for security forces to stop the killing.

And in Bahrain, protesters occupied symbolic Pearl Square and from the news that I read, the conditions in Bahrain are getting worse since the government had instructed the security force to react towards the protesters. New anti-regime protests also occurred in Algeria. These bloodiest of multiple revolts that currently rocking the Arab world somehow remind me of Domino Theory, which literally is a theory of one event will set off a train of similar events to the nearby area.

Conclusion

What gonna happen next? 

Only He knows~

What we gonna do?

Ask ourselves..

Am I gonna be the observer ONLY?

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Stress? ~

As I trying to complete my assignments and read few online news this morning, an article entitled More docs to be trained to treat mental depression inside The Star Online did captured my attention. Somehow I feel the article sound funny, but after a few seconds, I had a feeling of sympathy to those people outside that facing this kind of situation. 

I cannot avoid the sadness feeling that arise inside me after I realized the reality that more and more of our people had turned their life into "zero value" due to depression and stress. And I do believe, instead of lack of attention from people around them, the needs to have a good financial status had indirectly turned this type of people to become more workaholic and forget about any other essence of life in order to achieve financial freedom. The increasing of living cost nowadays is another factor that had indirectly contribute to this stressful life.

However, after I have some sharing with few of my friends regarding this phenomena, I had realized something about stress and workloads. It is not the workloads that contribute to stress and depression, but stress and depression are the results of someone failure in managing their daily tasks and activities. This is why there is a quote saying that "free times do kills".

Thus, as a khalifah of this world, it is necessary for everyone of us to be able to prioritize our works accordingly in order to avoid any depression due to last minutes work. In addition, as what Allah had mentioned in Chapter 103 of our holy Quran, all of us are surely in loss, accept those who believe and do good, and exhort one another to truth, and exhort one another to patience.

As a conclusion, in order to avoid stress and depression, never ever walk alone in this path without Him, but make sure that we have a close and strong relationship with our Creator, Allah swt. In any situations, in any moments, anytime, everywhere, always remember Him as He had promised, "Remember me, I will remember you".

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~