Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Nothing You Confess, Makes Me Love You Less~

As time goes by, I realized that sometimes confession bring a big means not only to me but everyone around me. Somehow, it makes me becomes a better person, maybe in both direct and indirect way. But still, the tradition of speak about something at the back keeps going on until today, which actually can turn to be a silence killer in all kinds of relationship.

I was born in a family where my parents will try to sit together with me and tell me what are the things that I have done correctly and what are the things that I shall not repeat and improve in the future. As I grow older, I realized how important this kind of confession was, and indirectly, it makes my relationship with my parents become closer as time goes by.

I remember when I was keep mumbling with my mom due to the workloads that I need to do once I return from the terminal where I performed my industrial training, my mom just smile patiently and said to me that this is the reality if I turn to be a working mother in the future. She said that by hook or by crook, I must get ready to face this type of situation since it is a nature for those woman that not hire any maid to help them to do all the home works.Even sometimes, those who hiring a maid also still need to do this since this is what do we called as responsibility. Dear mom, nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

Once upon a time during my early days in UTP, I always called my father whenever I face any types of difficult situations. Somehow, my daddy always said to me, why don't you ask your friend because I am also not familiar with Perak. I was kind of offended when my daddy told me that, but now I realized that I cannot rely on him all the times since there will be a time and situation where I must do everything on my own and rely on my friends. Dear dad, nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

I remember when my naqibah told me that most of the times, we need to fix with people needs and not try to beg for people in order to fix in with our own needs. Yes, we may beg for it  but only for sometimes. We live to give most of the times, not to receive all the times. Patience and prayer are the strongest weapon that we shall have in order to ensure we can face all the obstacles come into our life. And now I realized, how true this fact is and of course, I wanna say it again that nothing you confess, makes me love you less~

Most of the times, prior to close my eyes, I always try to recap all the things that I have done through out the day. Sometimes, I can feel that how ungrateful I was, since I was kind of not appreciating people around me. People may come and go slowly and suddenly. There is also a case where these people go without saying goodbye and even no hint at all that we will never meet again. 

It is important for us actually to confess on all the things that might burden our head and heart in order to ensure there will be no hard feeling between each other. It's just the way we confess that need to be adjustable according to the type of the person. Different people might need different approaches and I do believe that as time goes by, we shall understand our friends character very well.

Those who had advised me not to think bad about others, avoid to make any assumptions, learn to forgive and forget, try to understand others, accept people mistakes and learn, never hold any grudge, be co-operative, and many more good advises, I am glad that you have be brave enough to advise and confess to me. Believe me that nothing you confess, makes me love you less....

~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Sharing: Transitional State~

After quite some times, I finally manage to update something here. Yes, quite some times. I really meant it! As time goes by so fast, I can feel that everything that I do in this semester were like I am competing in a competition. I really need to be quick, fast, hurry, precise, accurate and everything that might relate to fast and quality, you just name it! Are these are the things that my previous seniors faced while completing their final year requirements? Now I understand, the powerful of statement that seems like I used everyday to persuade myself. "Never mind, this year gonna be the last one.. Just be patient. Bear it!"

Somehow, maybe things happened around me seems like giving me kind of surprise. Or maybe, I am in that transitional state or stage, where my mind still keep saying that I am young, but in reality, my heart do also agree that I am getting older. Older? Yep! That's it.

Before I'm doing my industrial training last June, it is seldom for me to hear about marriage, babies, dowries, and anything that falls under this category. But this semester, almost everyone around me do talk about this. Plus, few of my sisters and friends gonna end their "single status" soon, and some of them are walking towards another world that we-do-call-as m.t.b. M.T.B? Yep, mother-to-be. Of course everyone of us will be having that "Aunty" or "Mak Cik" status soon, but I already told those M.T.B to advice their child to call me as "Sister" or "Kakak" only. Honestly, I am not ready yet to be called with that title. Must be everyone that read this entry might think like, what the????????????? Hehe :P

Somehow, this transitional state seems fun, but of course, I can't avoid myself from having kind of sad feeling deep down inside my heart. I still cannot help myself to avoid the sense and feeling that this sister/ these sisters have been taken or will be taken soon by a person that we called as husband. Yes, I know that the ukhuwah and relationship is still there, but I strongly believe, the situation will never be the same.How could you expect the change of title from "Miss" to "Madam" will never change a particular person since the world they are facing is also different? But of course, the spirit, loves and all the memories that been treasured together will always be remain. Forever~

Another thing that I wanna share is about the academic assessment methods. So far, I can tell you that I have only a very few number of quizzes and tests for this semester. But, it still like not giving me enough time to be free and easy. It seems like all the assessment methods used by lecturers are more on relating the theoretical with practice, besides need us to move here and there a lot! I can say that I am quite happy while performing the tasks, but somehow, it makes me tired and fatigue. All of the assessments somehow need you to rely on the other people as well since only few assessment are being done  on individual basis. The rest? All are in group! I am not saying that I am dealing with wrong persons, but the point that I wanna stress out here is to keep the good relation amongst your teammates and comrades are not an easy tasks. Considering others availability, give and take, trying to accept them as who they are, understanding their nature of working, knows how to handle their weaknesses and utilize their strength are some of the things that I need to learn and sometimes, I can say that it makes myself better in improving my interpersonal skills. But of course, the cloud is not always blue (this is totally a direct translation.Hehe :D). After all, patience is the utmost value that I need to hold in order to make me feel less stress and to ensure the possibility for others to get hurt are also less.

I think, this is enough for this time. It may takes me another few weeks to update since the works that I need to complete are queuing like fishes in the UTP's lake waiting for some breads. May Allah bless and eases all the journey ahead... InshaAllah..

Just want to share one quote that I keep in holding in order to make me feel determine to complete all the things,

"Dan kerana TuhanMu, bersabarlah" [74:7]

 ~berdoa dan terus mengharapkan redha Illahi...~